still in Florida...

Okay, Oklahoma has ceased all contact. that one's out. the only one that remains is the Florida one. I know i said i so so didnt want to be there but it looks like all doors besides that one are closing. we shall see.

also, flashbacks are on the rise again. desperately wanting someone to hear me out about the worst one but having trouble asking for someone to listen because i'm terrified to say it. ugh.

enough of the update. i dont even want to listen to myself anymore why should i expect anyone else to?

yeah, ok... shut up ang.

OK?

looks like Oklahoma may be our new home. there are still cards on the table tho so the final outcome of the application game is unknown. we shall see.

and it's getting closer and closer to an official diagnosis - i'm DID. am feeling far less stressed about this title. whatever we call it, it's been happening for a while, i am who i am, so it's just a label. just feeling very very alone right now.

too much up in the air. too short on time, resources and human contact.

will be glad when we get past thursday's florida interview and get that behind us. i so so so dont want to go there. i wish hubby would take that seriously.

hrumph.

yeah, that's all i've got to say for today.

wow

ok so i'm doing a bit better. have allowed people to convince me that i am safe. that's it's ok not to be so paranoid. just putting my life in God's hands...

one thing that's helping me feel more secure - we have big changes on the way. we are moving again (making ourselves hard to find is a great side benefit). seeking another job because my husband's paying job is ending very quickly (like probably in the next 4-6 weeks - care of our local lack of economy). We have applications out now all over the country.

Anyone know somewhere that needs a good Children's Pastor?
preferably somewhere that snows a bit?