Feeling bad

Been a loooooooong week.


Survived Thanksgiving alright - with only minor speedbumps with the family. My stepdad drives me crazy, what can I say? I don't do well with men on power trips.


Still riding the emotional roller coaster. Tuesday before Thanksgiving was a breakthrough day but also a setback day because I pushed too hard. So it was a quick crash and it really hurt. Still recovering. Feeling bad about it - guilty because I should have known better.


Dealing with that now - was feeling very powerless until this afternoon - my dogs went missing and it seemed like everything in all the world was centered around me not being enough to make any of it function right. But God had mercy and let me find the dogs today, so it was a good victory and reminder that not EVERYTHING is hopeless.


I'm glad to have my dogs back. Just a little message of hope from God when I needed it most.


Still feeling defeated, though. I see how huge this mountain is and Tuesday really showed me how very little I've moved in the last few months. And I've put forth monumental effort. I just don't see how I'm going to finish the journey. I lack the strength to go that far.


So here I sit on my pity pot. I just need some time to snuggle the dogs and regain a little strength. How I'll do it, I have no idea. Today, I don't care. I just want to sit here and cry and hug my dogs.