Amazing

Okay - I have something amazing to share. Well, if it's not amazing to you, tough - it was EXACTLY what I needed today...

Been feeling hopeless (what else is new?) and sad and very alone. Had some surprising and scary news last night that knocked me off my feet. This had the potential to turn my family's life upside down again and I'm just now starting to get on my feet a little so it really freaked me out. I worried about it, expressed my huge reservations to my husband about it and all that stuff.

Woke up exhausted this morning. Didn't want to go to church but I've missed the last two services and we ARE staff so it's pretty important for me to show up so I pushed and went anyway. I'm so glad.

So church starts and I'm sitting in the Sanctuary, exhausted and wishing I could go home, talking myself into staying and not just leaving, and praying. I don't normally pray this way, but given our call last night, I was desperate for an answer from God. I asked Him, "If this is something I don't need to worry about, please have someone say - 'God is with you' - during the service." I immediately felt really guilty, like this was too much to ask but I really needed this. God impressed on my heart that He was with me either way the decision went, but nonetheless, I requested confirmation. I'm so glad He's so patient with me. Here's what happened:

The very next worship song was one I had never heard before but it was filled with "God is with us" and to top it off - it was called "Emmanuel". It's like God said, "I'm so with you that it's part of my being enough to be my very name." Obviously, I started weeping. The next few songs were like that, filled with "I'm with you" verses and then there was a move of the Spirit where they reassured His presence, a Word given that confirmed that, a friend who came to pray for me that way. Then the sermon was on Luke 1 where Gabriel came to Mary and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored - the Lord is with you."

It was like God screamed it for me just when I needed it most. Reiterating it over and over and over and over and over again.

God is with me. I am not alone. He is so with me that it's his very name. He feels my pain so very much that He came to do something about it. Yes, He's with me.

Praise God.