It's raining

It's pouring outside. I have the flu. I didn't sleep much at all last night. I'm so whiny today I just can't hardly stand to be near myself.

I'm feeling conflicted. I have so much to be thankful for - my husband, my children, my church, my close friends who have been so supportive of late... and yet I still hurt so badly and nothing seems to make it quit.

I know the sun is still shining above these clouds, but it's so hard to hold on to in the midst of it all. Facing all of this and dealing with it is the hardest thing I've ever done. I never banked on it taking so long and being so hard and feeling so dark. I feel like I'm walking blind, just hoping there's another side. I know my Guide is the best there is, and He guarantees me there's another side, but that doesn't make it less scary or painful.

The Bible says that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us. Oh what I wouldn't do just to glimpse a little bit of it to garner the strength to hold on through this. It calls our present troubles light and momentary - oh how great it must be if it can consider this darkness "light and momentary" and also "not worthy to be compared"...

Lord, how 'bout a break in the clouds - just for a minute? I know faith is the evidence of things hoped for and not seen, but walking blind is HARD... I believe - help me in my unbelief!