post without a point

so life has been crazy lately. i was hurting so so so so badly. then i got the flu. flu was a blessing because it allowed me to sleep, which i desperately needed. you know it's bad when you're happy you're sick. idk exactly how to describe what i am feeling today. it's been a good day overall. got stuff accomplished and had a relatively flashback and sickness free day. i still have plenty of residual sad but there's also a budding thankfulness for the good swirled in. i went kayaking with a friend on tuesday and it did me good to have a little adventure. it was time. idk. just not sure what to say. it's like there's two parallel lives happening. the sad one and the ok one and i feel like there will be a merger in the future but i have no clue what that will be like. i guess for now all i wish for is to sleep without coughing. ok. there. i posted. and no, i have no clue the point i wanted to make. just needed to post.