Friday, March 23, 2012

TW - new memories

gotta talk about it cause avoiding it is not helping. trigger warning.

i remember narrow stairs going up to my grandparents' (paternal) attic. at the top there is a bedroom with two beds and a slanted ceiling on both sides making an upside down v at the top. there are small doors - four of them in the four corners of the room. each side has a narrow - in the attic crawl space with bare beams and pink insulation inside. also shelves with games and such. it is hot in those places. hot and still. air unmoving. it is in that attic i remember being bound to an empty bedframe and hurt. the actual act and the perpetrator are missing but being bound and knowing what was coming - not being able to breathe for the heat and stillness and the loud silence of waiting. this implicates my grandparents but idk that it wasnt my father there. or another person. i just know that location. and i hate it.

also more flashbacks from the woods. about the pain and the torture. the stupid punishments and the rod of correction. wow i hated that thing.

i gtg now. this is too much....

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