so i've finally gotten a moment to get a grip about what's happening in my world of self injury. i've been doing very well for several weeks but the temptation in the last few days is HUGE again. i am finally recognizing from whence comes my urges. INE. INE is the part that holds the need to cut. to stab. to mutilate. she's the one that needs pain in order to keep it together.
i cant say a lot about her at present. she's very very very very very upset. turns out that photo collage from rosie isnt rosie's. it's INE's. she holds the ritual abuse memories. she holds the worst pain. the torture. and the suicidal parts too. she holds the worst of the messages. she is the one tied to the altar in white.
i am having an awful time accepting her as me. but at least i know now where it is all coming from and why.
hopefully that will mean some relief soon...
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