Alright, it's been an incredibly hard week. Haven't posted because it's been hard enough I needed not to say what I felt... Couldn't have concrete black and white proof out there for the men in the white coats to stumble over...it was that bad. Just had to work through some things and try to breathe again. Kind of got sucked under with the low and just needed to survive a while.
Anyway, that's not why I'm posting. I'm still struggling but I had a breakthrough last night that I just had to share. This is HUGE!!!
Last night, for the first time ever, I was able to stop a flashback.
I don't know really if y'all totally understand how incredible this is. I've never been able to stop them before. Ever. I've just re-lived the memories over and over and not been able to do anything about it when they hit. Last night, I had the power to say no. I have some control over what's happening to me now. I have the ability to stop what I never could stop before.
Guess my words are failing me. It sounds so lame reading it and it's such a huge thing. I wish I could describe better how fantastic a victory this is. Just take my word for it, friends, it's HUGE!!!!
Praise God!
2 comments:
wow! that is huge! I feel it coming, "What time I am afraid I will trust in thee, what can mortal man do to me?>"
I feel it coming!
You are making huge progress my friend! God is fixing you one piece at a time. I am so proud of you! You're not giving up no matter how hard it's getting and you're listening to wisdom from friends and God. We are seeing a glimpse of the real person God created you to be. What a day of rejoicing!
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