Praise God for progress!

last night i told a friend. the worst details. the newest memories. i told her and she loved me anyway. i finally let it be true - including the most horrible parts. and i discovered what i never thought possible... i discovered that it IS possible to let it (the event) be true AND still combat it (the lies)... just have to separate them from each other and have courage enough to look at it long enough to do so. so grateful my friend helped me and loved me through it... truly was worried i'd lose her telling her what i did. amazed me when i didn't.

anyway, an even more amazing thing happened after i did that. i actually SLEPT. i've been having nightmares for months - and terribly awful ones for weeks. i finally escaped in my dream and got away from the people hurting me. i lit the house (in the dream, not for real) on fire that they were in and i ran far far far away. far enough away to find the safe place where the other kids were playing. the place where no bad guys can go. and little me actually smiled. they invited her to play. and although she was awkward in how to do that exactly, she felt safe enough to join in.

and today i finally feel better. it's like the war in my heart is quiet. i'm so glad. and i had to share it with you. Praise God!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, thanks for listening and praying. Praise God for progress!