Good news is i've finally broken through whatever it was in my heart that kept me from seeing the truth. from believing it. finally, i've learned to see that i was never at fault for any of the awfulness. including his suicide. i've stopped being angry at me and begun to feel the anger that God intended - righteous anger at my father for what he did. who he was to me. this is a huge huge huge obstacle to overcome and i'm thrilled to say i'm here. feels so freeing - so good. i wouldnt say yet that i have peace exactly, but a sense of validation - being glad i exist instead of wishing not to is a wonderful change.
so mentally and emotionally, i'm in a good place right now. except...
Bad news is i'm having chest pains. they're scaring me quite well thank you very much. i went to the dr today and had an ekg but there are still more tests to do as they dont know the cause of whatever it is that's happening. i have testing this week, a change in meds, and two more appointments next week. have also been told that if it gets worse or changes in a way that causes me concern, that i should go straight to the emergency room.
anyway. please pray. i promise to update as soon as i know something more concrete. thanks in advance.
1 comment:
CONGRATULATIONS on your break thru. I believe this is a huge milestone for you. I am so proud of you for fighting so hard to get where you are. I am proud of you.
Love ya,
D
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