alright, for the record, this is the worst month of the year for me. this is the time when things were worst - this is the time of so many painful anniversaries - and i am struggling hard again.
so. for the record, i'm renaming this month. i'm no longer calling it S*****ber, it is now "Nine". It's a socially acceptable alternative. People call things by date numerically all the time. so this is now the month of nine. and that's given me the strength to get thru the first three days. yeah. twenty seven to go.
prayers appreciated. and patience if i don't write a lot. or if i whine more. or whatever it takes to get thru. especially as the eighteenth draws nearer. the whole month is bad, but that one is the worst. anniversary both of the last rape and of my father's suicide.
just really feeling the loss right now. and going through some things i just don't know how to put into words.
sorry. :-(
2 comments:
Don't mind the change for the calender. I thought it was strange to call those certain dates 'anniversary' but I looked up the word @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anniversary
and it explains a lot how appropriate that word is. I only put it here so you could read it too. I thought it might help you see it differently and somehow use it to change how you treat it. Every little bit helps :-) I'll pray EXTRA for you. You're special to Jesus so turn to Him when you are losing control. Then trust Him. Just give it all to Him and let go. You've hung on tight when this happens. It may be the scariest thing you've tried but Jesus is 100% trustworthy. He can catch you when you fall. He will protect you and heal you.
In case you haven't noticed you've been doing good. You made some big steps this year. Just keep stepping :-) (I trust you and can never be disappointed by you)
praying for ya!
Love ya!
Post a Comment